In the famous scene at the end of Schindler’s List, Oskar Schindler looks at his remaining possessions and helplessly reflects on lost opportunities. His anguish is palpable as this strong man’s heart begins to break. He didn’t boast about the hundreds that were spared in his factory, but mourned for those that didn’t get to see the light of another day.

I do not take my words lightly, but I can honestly say Life Beautiful is my favorite magazine that I have ever read. It classically invites you to read its article. Each page is purposeful and well laid out. With awesome photography and applicable Bible verses to encourage and challenge their readers.

My daughter Isabella Grace Houle is almost four. For a while I was convinced she was going to be primarily a daddy’s girl and I was going to take a back seat. To put it bluntly… we did not always see eye to eye.

We have goals and hopes that drive us. We know there will be sacrifices and dedication, yet sometimes our goals fall flat on their face before we can even get out of the starting gate. We compare ourselves to others. But God’s not comparing us to that person, so why are we?

I am about to get all #realtalk for a minute. Some times people annoy us. It could have been the person who stole your parking spot, or a rude comment; perhaps, it was someone being unsupportive or cold. Whatever the reason, sometimes we are on our last cherry coated straw, and it wouldn’t matter if the situation deserved our annoyance or not, they are going to get it; because at that moment, that final straw equals the stubbed toe from earlier, the burnt breakfast, the lost keys, the extra bill, the friend who you don’t talk to anymore. It’s a culmination of annoyances that haven’t been shaken off yet.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I am not excited for you. I am. I know you will excel in school and do awesome. You are super smart; you always have been. You recognized the alphabet at 2 years old. That seems advanced to me. You love to learn. Your teacher already picked that up at kindergarten evaluation. They flattered me with the notion that they almost wanted to advance you to first grade. Your brightness shows.

I have to admit, I have trouble overlooking words that scorch the heart and leave a bad taste in my mouth. I question the intentions of another when their actions seem so blatantly negative. Trust is a big deal to me. So when I feel vulnerable enough to offer my heart, this does not come lightly. It builds over time, and takes a while to feel that security. It’s not that I fail to acknowledge my own faults; I know they are there, yet I don’t want it to be the highlight of the conversation. Despite my trust issues, God still calls us to not pay attention to every word people say. To brush it off our shoulders as though it were a fleeting moment. How do we do that? I am still trying to figure that out.

Whether consciously or subconsciously thoughts are constantly filtering in and out of our heads, as we establish game plans for our days, weeks, and months, but how often does it go as smoothly as hoped, or exactly as we originally desired?  Sometimes we can become so focused on what we think should happen, we ignore God directing us down a different path.

I stand at 5 foot nothing, with medium length dirty blonde or brunette hair (depending on who you ask) and blue eyes. I have three kids, ages 5, 3 ½, and almost 2 years old. I don’t have many hobbies, nor do I excel at many things, primarily because to do most things (even average) takes me a lot of energy and dedication. My thoughts can come out jumbled, and I occasionally say the most clichéd statements wrong. I get nervous when telling people what they don’t want to hear (even though I still do it), and I carry the emotional weight of a lot of situations around me. I don’t say this as a “woe is me moment,” but I can empathize with Moses who felt inadequate for the tasks that God called him to do.

It was 8:20pm, the kids were in their room winding down for the night. Me and my husband were relaxing on the couch, as I hear the pitter patter of little feet. This is a normal occurrence at night, the kids seeking their one (or three) last goodnight interactions.