Whether consciously or subconsciously thoughts are constantly filtering in and out of our heads, as we establish game plans for our days, weeks, and months, but how often does it go as smoothly as hoped, or exactly as we originally desired? Sometimes we can become so focused on what we think should happen, we ignore God directing us down a different path.
I stand at 5 foot nothing, with medium length dirty blonde or brunette hair (depending on who you ask) and blue eyes. I have three kids, ages 5, 3 ½, and almost 2 years old. I don’t have many hobbies, nor do I excel at many things, primarily because to do most things (even average) takes me a lot of energy and dedication. My thoughts can come out jumbled, and I occasionally say the most clichéd statements wrong. I get nervous when telling people what they don’t want to hear (even though I still do it), and I carry the emotional weight of a lot of situations around me. I don’t say this as a “woe is me moment,” but I can empathize with Moses who felt inadequate for the tasks that God called him to do.
Blah. Blah. Blah. I wonder if that’s what some people hear when I talk. I want to make a difference, an impact on others’ lives, but I know it takes more than words to grow someone’s trust, to show someone love. They have to believe the words themselves and apply it to their lives, or no difference will take place. This transformation starts by getting to the heart of the matter; what is lying in the depths of your heart that only you and God know about?
The night was still as the Star of David announced Jesus’ birth. Swaddled in cloth and appearing to have all the same attributes as the sweet babies that have gone before, God makes His appearance to man. After the anticipated journey, the wise men arrived, and in an instant they fell down and worshiped Jesus. They didn’t question what they should do, rather they immediately showed the respect God deserves. They were clearly called wise men for a reason.
A strong willed child? A rough marriage? Financial problems? What will cause our knees to bend? We all have trials and tribulations that force us to question the purpose of our troubles in the big scheme of things. We wonder why we couldn’t be stronger and overcome this adversity in our own strength.
Parents have a big responsibility. We are supposed to train and guide our precious children to the best of our abilities. 24 hours in a day does not seem like enough time for this monumental task. Just the other day I was picking up some cold cuts at Walmart when a fellow customer stopped me and asked me what my youngest son was eating. “What” I asked, because I hadn’t given him anything. To my horror he had ripped off a piece of plastic from the shopping cart handle and was happily sucking on it. “Am I fit for this task?” I questioned myself.
Playtime at McDonalds was over. It was time to wrap things up and get going. Of course telling three children that it’s time to leave is easier said then done. After much repetition I finally got all three kids in the van. Relieved, yet frustrated, I sat down and stated, “You know you guys really have to listen and obey mommy” Isabella’s response, “Why?”
We live in a land of abundance. We have two of everything, and what we don’t have extra of it is on our wish list. We have three kids; my husband works hard, and we are good budgeters knowing what monetarily comes and goes. Lately, I was yearning for extra: extra in the bank account, extra to go out to eat or buy a new outfit. We are buying our first house, so our tight budget is even tighter. I guess I am feeling the squeeze. Yet through this moment I took some time to reflect on last year.
The truths of a loving relationship penetrates my heart. The simple truth that God wants everyone to know and hear. When Jesus died on the cross, it was before we had a relationship with Him. He was dying for those who spit on Him as He walked the road to the cross, for sinners like you and me.
Do I trust God and believe He is who He says He is? Do I have faith to believe without doubting? These questions are invoked when I think of the Christians who have gone before, who walked the talk and saw people’s hearts changed. Do I take God at His word, and am I willing to stand on the front lines professing God to be the one He says He is, the One and Only true God?