Dealing with Insecurities


Are they going to like me? Why aren’t I as pretty as her? Are they going to listen if I share my heart? Am I dispensable? Am I capable enough? What person doesn’t deal with insecurities of some shape or form? Sometimes if they are bad enough, they take on a life of their own, even directing and controlling our actions. I struggle with insecurities; it seems like they manifest more heavily when I am feeling tired or already drained emotionally. I don’t think we have to stay in the position of succumbing to our insecurities. We can rise above them, but in order to overcome insecurities we have to learn what it means to be secure.

Insecurities Limit Us

When it comes to insecurities, we are our worst enemies. It is 90% irrational fears that have manifested in our minds to become this barrier that denies us the freedom to be ourselves. We get so anxious and burdened by things we are convinced limit us, that instead of addressing these fears and overcoming them, we avoid them completely, allowing our insecurities to take on a life of their own.

How Can We Become Secure?

A. Fully understand how God views you.

We are valuable children of God, handcrafted from head to toe with limitless possibilities. Yet, by our own volition, our insecurities deny us that freedom. We have to redirect our thoughts, to see the bigger picture, to see ourselves how God sees us.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

B. Focus on a Purpose

The more we look around us and try to help others, we have less time to focus on our own insecurities. Focusing on our own inadequacies and insecurities is like quick sand. It leads to a pit of nothing you want to be a part of… depression, loneliness, fears, disobedience.

Challenge: Who can we reach out to this week?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

C. Get to the root of your Insecurity

Take a moment to wrap your head around your insecurity. What are you insecure about? (e.g. looks, fear of rejection, financial status, etc) What affects does it play in your life? (eg. Uncomfortable, self loathing, envious, depressed, avoiding people) Why might you have this insecurity? And what does God say about it to counter the negativity that floods our mind so that our thoughts may be redirected?

  • Appearance: Psalm 139:14; Proverbs 31:30
  • Fear of Rejection: Galatians 1:10-12; John 15:18; Matthew 10:28
  • Financial: Matthew 6:26-34; Exodus 20:17
  • Faith: Mark 8:38

*If there are any other issues that you would like me to help you find a verse for, please send me a message in my contact form. I would love to help find a verse for you.

D. Address the fears that spurs the Insecurity

Next time your insecurity rears its ugly head, try to follow through with life as though you didn’t have that insecurity. It is not going to be fun in the beginning. Insecurities are bad habits that take time to redrill out of your mind. Some insecurities love to stick around, however, hopefully over time you will overcome them. As you walk through these fears of insecurities, write down what actually happens as a visual reminder. Sometimes the result may not be pleasing, but keep on addressing those insecurities and don’t run from them. Overall, I think you will see the outcome is not as bad as our fears have displayed. Grab a friend to help encourage you on your journey, and let them know how you are doing. You don’t have to do this alone.

Wrapup

The effects of insecurity are real. They are a pain in the butt. They altar the course of how we do things and limit us. It’s not something we can just avoid and hopefully it fixes itself. It has to be a conscience choice to start making positive strides to kick those insecurities out of our mind. Hopefully we will all take the charge and deal with our insecurities, leave them at the feet of Jesus, and start today a fresh with a new outlook and focus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

Suggested Reading:

“So Long Insecurity” by Beth Moore
Photo Credit: By Unsplash

Please Share Your Thoughts

  • Linda Henderson

    Amen! Insecurities are a pain in the butt, but with God’s help they can be overcome!

  • roxane

    Please and Thank You , pray with me that God will help me …………with my insecurities. I can hardly stand it anymore……..

    • I will Keep you in my prayers. I know how they can be. Hang in there!

  • Linda Henderson

    Good article, Grace!I think it’s true that when we get our focus off of ourselves & on to others, our insecurities seem to disappear! At times when I’ve started to feel a bit insecure in Korea, I reminded myself that I’m here to be a witness for Jesus, & prayed to be just that. That was enough to get my mind away from worrying what people might think of me , to thinking about the Lord & others. It seemed to do the trick of making me feel more comfortable around others, & they, in turn , were more comfortable around me. You’re right- God sees us different than we see ourselves , or others see us, & what He thinks of us is most important.We do need to pray that we see ourselves as He sees us. Also- I think we need to work on seeing the best in others, instead of thinking the worst about them.If somebody seems like they’re being critical of us, it maybe they’re dealing with their own insecurities. They may be seeing us in a belittling way, or thinking of us as being less than we would like them to think .But it’s probably because they’re feeling insecure about something themselves. God’s approval is much more important than anybody elses , & He is where we should be looking for support. It’s easy to expect that of people & feel let down. But Jesus never disappoints us! Love you!!

    • Hi mom! Thanks for commenting, and being so open and honest. So thankful we have prayer. It was a good reminder for me that you said that you pray when you start to feel insecure. I love the verse in 2 Tim. 1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Another good point you made was that sometimes other people sometimes seem like they are being critical of us, when really they are dealing with there own insecurities. We just have to trust God and rely on His strength to get us through, because we can trust in His faithfulness.