Forgiveness Without an Apology

“He doesn’t have to say he’s sorry”. These were the words my 4 year old daughter said after I told my son to apologize to her. It wasn’t in a disrespectful tone, but one of forgiveness. True forgiveness that can’t be bought or faked. She got it.

A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

Proverbs 19:11

She had already released her brother’s debt. She didn’t need the verbalization, the outward expression that adults so often demand, for the sins they have already carved into stone.

Keep no record of wrong

Love… keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:5

But what if __________ (fill in the blank with some vile offense) “Keep no record”, and let’s be honest with ourselves, it generally is not a vile offense we are dealing with. It usually is from a disagreement, a mistake, a rough day.

Yet, when someone’s rough day, lines up with our rough day, it becomes this ugly monster of resentment. Friendships are lost and feuds begin. We slowly distance ourselves from the hurt we felt. It’s a defense mechanism, I get it, but it’s not biblical.

We need to lay our hurts, our pains, our faults before the cross, no matter how small or great we think they are.

We need to lay our hurts, our pains, our faults before the cross, no matter how small or great we think they are. Every day is a new day, every minute a new minute to remind ourselves who we serve.

Place things into perspective

What really matters? Is it making sure the person who talked about you, is gossiped about back? Is it making sure the person who was mean to you, never receives a kind word?

No, rather we need to learn to forgive. We need to lay our bitterness and baggage aside, and focus on what is important. Pointing people to Christ, showing them love and true forgiveness because that is what we have received. This life is a drop in the bucket compared to the bigger picture that awaits, and if we let distractions cloud our mind then our life will come and go swiftly, with regrets. But when we learn to forgive, our life fills with joy as we truly embrace forgiveness ourselves, realizing how unworthy our gift of salvation is, and the grace we should readily share with others.

But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Matthew 6:15

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.

Luke 7:47