I stand at 5 foot nothing, with medium length dirty blonde or brunette hair (depending on who you ask) and blue eyes. I have three kids, ages 5, 3 ½, and almost 2 years old. I don’t have many hobbies, nor do I excel at many things, primarily because to do most things (even average) takes me a lot of energy and dedication. My thoughts can come out jumbled, and I occasionally say the most clichéd statements wrong. I get nervous when telling people what they don’t want to hear (even though I still do it if it is for their benefit), and I carry the emotional weight of a lot of situations around me. I don’t say this as a “woe is me moment,” but I can empathize with Moses who felt inadequate for the tasks that God called him to do.
Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
It is so much easier to plead with the Lord to send someone else, someone who, in your eyes, is more capable and fit for the job. We are our own worst critics. We put our own flaws under a magnifying glass. Our imperfections are right before us channeling our paths as we decide the course of our obedience, yet God looks at us, and says “Follow Me.” Acts of obedience have less to do with making ourselves look great, and more to do with showing what extraordinary things we can do with an almighty God.
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
Acts of obedience can seem daunting when we feel ill equipped to handle the tasks before us. It would be so much easier if all that was asked of us was things that take little to no effort. We have excelled at our checklists and are ready to just sit back and relax, but as we sit, we realize the only reason why we feel comfortable here is because we don’t know what’s on the other side of that act of obedience.
We don’t taste the blessings, or feel the renewing of our faith that accompanies obedience; so we may stay where we are, and turn a blind eye to what God has for us. It’s easier that way, or so we think, and with each request you feel God prompting. “Not this time,” is your response.
Although it feels like staying in your comfort zone would decrease your negativity of yourself, it actually increases it, because you are still limited by your inadequacies that bind you. Yet, when you step out in faith and see that the Lord is good, using your brokenness, your weakness for purpose and value, your perspective changes. You feel you can achieve what God has set out for you to do because as the familiar quote says, “If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.” With knees bent, and heart bowed, your voice quietly whispers, “I will follow You.”