I have to admit that I’ve been in a funk lately… Ok for 2 years on and off. We moved to Western, NY about 2 ½ years ago. A week after we moved 6 hours from all our family and friends we found out we were pregnant with our first child.
No family, no friends, new beginnings.
My husband and I lived in the Catskill Mountain area for our entire adult life and most of our childhood. We moved out to western NY because of a great job opportunity for my husband that we just couldn’t pass up. Back home we always had friends and a support group. We’re not perfect, but we were loved through the good, bad and ugly.
Although this seems elementary, I never realized how one’s personality can be perceived stems from the confidence of allowing one to let their guard down, while still feeling the support and love of friends. I soon realized how vulnerable I was. I didn’t have friends that loved me despite… Me. Yet I soon realized when I moved out here, that I was going to learn a lot about myself that I would prefer not to know.
One is the Loneliest Number
In the beginning life is busy exploring the new area, and making the house a home. But one soon realizes it is lonely without friends to share life with.
I may appear melodramatic, but it is harder than it appears to make close friends with 2 kids vying for your attention with no family around. Baby and toddler talk are the forms of communication used in our household. All I can say is thank you Lord for Facebook! I can still connect with friends from back home and start developing friendships here.
Split Down the Middle
I found myself living in Western NY, but not even giving it a fair chance. My heart was still back home and the possibility of moving back. I can never replace my friends from back home, but I should be willing to open my heart to let new friends in. God is teaching me to live in the moment for whatever season of life it is. I don’t know if I will be here forever, but I can’t forgo trying to make friends now because of the fear of losing them later. I have to learn to live in the present.
It’s Hard to Make New Friends
I don’t know if you guys have ever moved, but let me tell you, although it may sound funny, I had my friends for so many years back home I forgot how it was to make new friends from scratch. After you have lived in an area for a while, friends just snowball in. One friend introduces you to another, and so on and so forth. You feel confident in your skin. When you are in a completely new environment, it is like you are going on a bunch of first dates, wondering what to say, how you are being perceived. It is brutal, awkward, and uncomfortable. People weigh a lot on first impressions, and let me tell you, I am horrible at them. It is like when I was in high school and went on some dates. I remembered how frustrated I was that we weren’t immediate besties. Relationships take work to develop, and those that outlast the original awkwardness are good friends.
We are Never Alone
However, God was laying the foundation to help me realize that He is my daily bread. He is my strength when I am weak.
I have learned a lot about myself, and know this is where I am supposed to be during this season of life. It is not always easy, but I am dependent on God to get me through. He sends me encouragement and friends just when I need it. He is faithful when I am not. I am hopeful that I will start gaining a support group here in Western NY, and am grateful that God uses the waiting periods in life to offer us His hand and loving embrace to help us understand that although we may feel alone… we are never alone.
Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you.