Marriage is a commitment filled with promises that are made between two imperfect people, yet tied together with love and a vow. With the words “I do”, you promise to love and cherish your spouse. Although society says love can be temporal and disposable, and that it is okay to disregard your vows; God paints a different picture. His is one of perseverance, companionship, love, and devotion.

Izzy looked down at my wedding bands that rarely leave my ring finger, “Why do you have two rings mommy?”

I replied, “One is my engagement ring, where daddy asked me to marry him, and the other one is my wedding ring. The ring is a reminder that I made a promise to God and Daddy, to stay faithful to Daddy till death do us part.”

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

With the day to day busyness and grind that welcomes us every morning, how can we make our spouse the priority they are? A committed relationship has to be a series of daily intentional choices. There are so many things that can draw us apart from the unified team we are called to be. Enjoy your marriage, grow in your friendship, revel in the comfort that you have a companion to share and enjoy all of life’s highs and lows.

Pray for your spouse

I have to admit I have to get better at this, but when I do pray for Andy, I see walls being broken down, and bridges built to help make us a strong unified team. I read a book, “Power of a praying wife,” and I was blessed so greatly as I watched Andy draw closer to God, and my heart for Andy grow stronger. Prayer allows us to access a God who hears our hearts cries and desires us to feel the love He freely gives.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Matthew 7:9-11

Guard your mind

Our mind is vulnerable. We may think that whatever we allow to enter our mind is  covert, but our actions display more than we realize of what we allowed to seep into our minds. If you are married and letting yourself have innappropriate relationships with someone who is not your spouse, or even thinking lustfully about them it is a recipe for disaster. Whether you have a chance at a relationship with this person or not, you should not allow your mind to embark and fill certain needs only your husband should be filling.

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28

Make their priorities your priorities

I have indeed married my exact opposite: He has challenged me, confused me, inspired me, and the list goes on. However, no matter how opposite we are, I have seen how much more cordial and productive we are when I make his priorities my priorities as well. This doesn’t eliminate my own priorities, but merely adds to it. For example, Andy loves his dinner right when he gets out of work. This took some adjusting too, especially since when we first got married, I was not a very routine oriented person… at all. However, since I started to plan ahead and try to respect his wishes, I have seen the merit in it, as we are able to get started on night time transitions a lot quicker. It also relaxes Andy knowing he has a little extra time to get done the endless tasks that need to be done.

Make quality time for your spouse

This is so important! But perhaps your relationship is similar to Andy and me; the idea is nice, but you haven’t really made it a consistent practice. We have four kids (5 years old and under) although one is still chilling in the womb :), needless to say time is tight, and any time that is left over we are depleted. Making quality time is hard, and I am not talking about just loafing on the couch together! I am talking about the intimate connection that helps you grow as friends, sharing what you enjoy, learning more about each other, laughing with them, growing with them. But like most things that are important to you, you have to be intentional about making quality time for your spouse. This is a great list of dates and fun ideas separated by price range, from $0 dollars to over a $100. Even doing one intentional thing a week, I know will spruce up your marriage.

Love your spouse. Be supportive, encourage, and say words and actions that will give them an extra encouragement for the day. Be a team through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Fight for your marriage, because God says it’s worth fighting for.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family, and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.